Credit for this goes to the South East Essex R&C PCS website.....
GEORGE SAYS THANKS
George Osborne last night sent his grateful thanks to the 21% of HMRC staff who came to work on Thursday 10th.
"Its really appreciated," he said from his £million+ mansion last night. "Every person who came to work made the industrial action taken by their colleagues that little bit less effective."
"And of course, it wasn't just yesterday's efforts that you hampered," he went on. "Every person who doesn't take action is sending me a clear message - that they will just roll over and take anything I care to dish out. It makes me that much more confident that next year we will be able to take even more without them making a peep. We're taking about twenty quid from everyone, every month, forever starting this year, and I was going to take another twenty next year as well - but since so many people seem happy with what I'm doing, I'm going to put proposals before Parliament to make that forty instead - or fifty, maybe."
Osborne admitted however that not everyone came in to work willingly.
"Of course some people would find it financially hard to take action," he said, pondering how to spend his £6,000 a month take-home pay. "Its all part of the plan. I let my banker buddies screw up the economy (while they made millions), then I bailed them out with your money, and now I'm taking even more from you to pay for it! Its all part of the plan to keep the little people downtrodden and to break their spirit. And of course the best part is that sure - they'd have lost about eighty quid each, but if they'd ALL taken action, then I'd have had to re-think taking the couple hundred quid I'll be grabbing from them over the course of the year. Not to mention the couple hundred more I'll grab next year - and the year after that."
Osborne was also amused at some of the reasons people gave for crossing picket lines.
"'I'm the only person in today, and there's a lot of work to do?'", he chortled. "What a fantastic way of looking at things! Those are the people I love the best, because they are the ones that mean the action their colleagues took had the least effect! The whole point of action is for work not to be done, so I'm dead chuffed that so many people just don't get it!" he smiled, revealing his double rows of pointed fangs.
And there was no hope for the future, Osborne insisted.
"While we can keep the people poor and tired and miserable, then our plans are working," he said, removing his contacts to reveal the yellow goat-slit pupils beneath. "We will keep on taking, year after year, as they swallow our lies about 'all being in it together' - of course we're not, there's the little people who do our bidding, and the sociopathic elite who get rich from the fruits of their labour."
His flesh peeling away to reveal the molten bronze beneath, Osborne gave his last thoughts.
"And until enough of them stand up and say 'enough', there is nothing that can stop us," he roared, spreading his wings of darkness tipped with venomous claws. "We will keep on, and on, and on, pushing retirement back, and back, and back until they are all so worn out and used up that we'll only be paying them their pittance of a pension for a couple months after we finally allow them to rest their shattered carcasses.
"Now tremble before me, worthless subjects, and despair!"
